So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
