after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
How external is "for external use only"?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
