Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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