dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
