My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
