Heybabeimwearingurpanties
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
