My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
