I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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