As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
