I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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