is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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