woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
