Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
