I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
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He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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