The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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