Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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