Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
