Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
