She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
