i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
