Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
