i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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