Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
ttyl tear gas
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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