Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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