does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
