the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
