their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
