Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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