Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
