I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
