oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
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Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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