ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
