Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize