a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I need to align my fucking chakras
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