.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
