i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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