I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
