I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
