i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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