I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
