Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Everything about him screamed your future.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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