I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
