Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
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I need you to use more vowels.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize