I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Someone signed my nipple.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
