my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
