Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
