This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I FOUND THE LEGS
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
