i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
