Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is it penis luge time yet?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
