when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Every concussion has its silver lining
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize