girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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