All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.