Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
