He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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