so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
