the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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